Just Gutsy

How to actually talk
to a stranger

Conversation starters for solo travellers, skip small talk, make real connections

You showed up. That's already gutsy. Now here's how to turn the person next to you into someone you'll remember.

For solo traveller meetups, everywhere in the world

The real problem

It's not that you're bad at talking to people.

It's that most questions are boring. Not because you're boring, but because we were never taught which questions actually open a conversation, and which ones just close it politely.

You know the feeling. Someone asks "what do you do?" and within 30 seconds you're both nodding at each other with nothing left to say. That's not chemistry, that's a bad question.

The good news? One better question changes everything. Here's how to find it.

The framework

Static questions vs. Signal questions

Think of every question as either static or signal. Static gives you facts. Signal gives you stories, and stories are where real connection lives.

Static, closes fast

Asks for a fact, gets a fact
Ends in a one-word answer
Tells you about the category, not the person
Leaves you wondering what to say next

Signal, opens everything

Invites a story, gets a story
Ends with them wanting to say more
Tells you who this person actually is
Gives you three follow-ups automatically

You don't need to overhaul how you talk. You just need to swap two or three static questions for signal ones. That's it.

The swaps

The 3 questions worth retiring

Here are the three most common conversation-killers, and the Just Gutsy version that actually goes somewhere.

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Swap 1

"Where are you from?" "Where do you feel most like yourself?"

"Where are you from" gets you a country. This question gets you a story about a place, a feeling, maybe a whole chapter of someone's life. It also works just as well for people who've never left their city as for nomads who haven't had a fixed address in years.

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Swap 2

"What do you do?" "What are you obsessed with right now?"

Job titles are costumes. What someone is obsessed with, whether it's fermentation, open-water swimming, or figuring out how to speak to their mother, tells you who they actually are. Fair warning: this one gets deep fast.

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Swap 3

"How long are you here?" "What made you come here right now?"

Duration is logistics. The "why right now" is always a story. Sometimes it's a breakup. Sometimes it's a promotion. Sometimes it's "I just needed to go somewhere." Every answer is a door, walk through it.

The rhythm

Every good conversation has 3 moves

You don't need to go deep immediately. Good conversations move the way good travel does, you start at the airport, you get to the neighbourhood, then you find the hidden spot no guidebook mentions. Same thing here.

1

The Landing, easy in, no pressure

Start light. Shared context, light observations, anything that says "I'm here, I'm friendly, I'm curious." You're both standing in the same city, probably lost in the same beautiful way. Use it.

"What's the first thing you did when you arrived here?"
2

The Turn, shift from info to story

This is where most conversations stay forever. The Turn is simple: stop asking for facts, start asking for moments. One word swap changes everything: "what" → "what surprised you about..."

"What's something about this trip you didn't expect?"
3

The Depth, where it gets real

Only go here once there's some warmth. And when you do, don't rush to fill the silence. The best answers take a second to arrive. Let them.

"What do you think you're really looking for on this trip?"
You don't have to follow this in order. Real conversations wander. The point is to have all three moves available, and to notice when you've been stuck in the Landing for too long. Most of us have. It's fine. Now you know the Turn exists.

The Just Gutsy game

Play the Gutsy 21

21 questions. Three levels. No rules except one: if you answer, you have to mean it. Pick a level, pick a question, and see where it goes. The best conversations at solo traveller meetups have started with one of these.

The Gutsy 21

Tap a level to reveal the questions, use them in any order, mix and match, or just let them inspire your own.

What's the first thing you ate when you got here, and did it live up to the hype?
Are you more of a wake-up-at-6am-and-see-everything person, or a stumble-on-something-by-accident person?
What did you pack for this trip that you haven't touched once?
If you had to describe where you are right now in life using only a weather forecast, what's the forecast?
What's one place you went to on this trip that no guidebook sent you to?
What's the worst piece of travel advice you've ever been given?
If you could teleport yourself anywhere for tomorrow only, where and why?
Good for: the first 10 minutes. Light on vulnerability, heavy on fun. Perfect if you're not sure yet what kind of person you're talking to.

Taking these to a meetup?

Screenshot this page or print the questions to bring along.

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Just Gutsy 🌍

A global community for solo travelers who believe that real connections make the best memories.

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